Flashback | 2013

     2013. What to say about this year? There's been so many great things, but it hasn't been all chocolates and gumdrops (I know, gross combo). I've found a couple amazing friends, and I've encountered a great God. Some happened right at home, some I had the privilege of experiencing halfway across the world.

     And to top it all off, my town's boys' basketball team took first in the area wide championship last night. Great way to end the year.

     This year has brought so many ups and downs. I've made a couple absolutely amazing friends. Those three ladies have been there and will always be there for me. It's one of those things where I now know I can always count on them. When I feel like I can't talk to anyone, one of them will be there for me. That's an great feeling.
     Then there's the girls in my small group at church. We've grown over the past year, and not only in numbers. We're there for each other. We're learning about the Lord together, learning how to handle life together. Growing together as people and as young women in Christ. God's really blessed me with those ladies this year.

     Then there was the girls that I traveled with all the way to Italy this summer. If you've never spent nine hours on a plane with nine other girls, you're missing out. That was an adventure within itself. Especially when one of our girls spilled her soda all over her lap and t-shirt. That was funny. And once you've walked around Rome and Naples and seen the hurt there, you can't break the bond between that group. There's so much pain around the world, and I've seen it first hand. 2013 was another year where God gave me insight into the entire world He's created, not just my world.
     Speaking of which, I had some major God encounters on that Italy trip. Homesickness and doubts about my purpose on the trip were setting in by the second night. But God turned me to Psalms 139. There, I saw that He's got it. He's got the trip perfectly planned, He's got me there for a reason, and He's got something He's going to show me there. What did I figure out that was looking back on the trip? Trust. I can trust in Him in any circumstance. When I've got my leg stuck between the metro and the platform and am afraid it's going to be gone in a matter of seconds, he's got someone there to help pull me up and onto the platform. And yes, I am that uncoordinated that I missed the platform. But only with one foot. The other foot made it to the platform. Oh, and when my skirt's caught in the escalator at the metro station and I'm trying to get it out before it gets stuck at the bottom and comes off, He's got it. My skirt was safe. It still has oil around the hem, but it's still in one piece. When the homesickness sets in and Satan tells me that I'm just on the trip to see Italy, not because God really wanted me going, He's there to reassure me that He has a reason for me being there.

     I've decided that sometimes - only sometimes - my clumsiness and lack of coordination is a good thing. It is part of how God showed me I could trust Him on that trip, after all.

     This year, I watched my family go through a lot of pain. I cried a lot. My small group's gotten to see me in the state of full out tears, but also in the state of I-need-to-cry-and-I-am-crying-but-no-tears-are-coming-out-so-I-just-look-dumb-because-I'm-shaking-and-making-all-the-weird-crying-noises-but-no-tears-are-coming-out. Sorry. That was really long. But it's true. Despite all the chocolates and gumdrops I experienced this year, I went through a lot of pain. I went through a lot of heartache. My whole family did. We all still are. It's been a hard year, and nothing about a new calendar year is going to change the reason behind our pain.

     Sorry. That was really Debbie-Downer. Just being real. I hope that's okay.

     My cousin told me this morning that 2014 is going to be our year. We're three months apart and used to fight like sisters; now we just talk and encourage each other like sisters. Because we're sisters in Christ. Anyways, we've both done a lot of growing up this year. I've watched her go through mounds of heartache, and it's broken me to the core to have to watch. But she's strong, and she knows that God holds her tears and her pain. This is how I like to think of it: She has some scars. We all do. Her scars come from wounds, yes. Emotional wounds. But her scars are the marks stitches. Stitches heal wounds. God's stitches heal the scars on her heart, on my heart. Our hearts may be scarred, but we've got a God who stitches us back until we're whole in Him.
     She's my inspiration. She's my hero. I think she's amazing. She's one of the strongest women I know. And 2014 is going to be her year. It's going to be my year. We're growing up in a bunch of ways, but we'll be there for each other. We're going to tackle the world and whatever it decided to throw at us together, with God by our sides.

     So here's to 2014. I pray it brings me many more God encounters and many more joyful moments. I pray that I can find God encounters through the heartache that I know is inevitable while here on earth.